How did we get to November so quickly?

It’s the middle of November and still no Christmas arrangements for the children. The days somehow seem to turn into weeks more quickly than the rest of the year. How is that even possible? Those good intentions you had of sitting down and talking about things well before Christmas have not become a reality.

How do you make it work?

How do you organise things so that your children have the best possible time at Christmas? You want to spend every minute of every day with them, and so does your ex. Despite the magical time that Christmas is meant to bring, there is no magical answer.

It’s not too late.

There’s still time to sit down and talk about things. It’s great if you can do this between the two of you. If you can’t, what about asking a friend or relative you both trust to help you? If that’s not possible, you could ask a mediator to help you have the conversation.

What’s best for the children?

It can be tricky to separate what’s best for you (and your ex) from what’s best for your kids. Most parents want the same thing. They want their children to be happy and to feel secure. What children want is for their parents to get on, and not fight over them. How Christmas is organised is less important.

What are the options?

Some children spend every other Christmas with each parent. Others spend Christmas Eve to Christmas Day after lunch with with one parent and the evening of Christmas Day and Boxing Day with the other parent. Some children spend the whole of Christmas with both their parents. This may be for the first Christmas after their parents separated, or it may be an annual arrangement if the parents get on really well.

My recommendation

I recommend that you and your ex talk about what will work best for you and your family. If you can’t make Christmas arrangements for your children yourselves, ask for help. Our number is 01473 487427


Elisabet Anderson, FMC accredited family mediator

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