Elder Mediation

As we grow older, our needs and roles change. Ageing can impose physical and emotional stresses on elders and their loved ones. These problems are not usually capable of being sorted out by social care workers, doctors and lawyers alone.

Elder Mediation provides an opportunity for the elder and all concerned members of their family to create a thoughtful plan for a more supportive future.

As family members age, family dynamics can often become more entrenched and complicated. As a young family, Mum and dad were the ones in charge. As children become parents and grandparents themselves, their sense of their place within their first family inevitably changes.

Some conflicts exist below the surface, yet can boil up and make family conversations very difficult. Siblings, dealing with differences in their own geographic, economic and immediate family structures can find working together to help their ageing parents to be challenging. Thoughtful decision making can seem all but impossible.

Caregiving by a family member will often lead to burnout. It requires difficult conversations between the caregiver and the care receiver, and with others in the family. Health and financial concerns are also issues that will lead to all family members weighing in with their views We hear often from caregiving family members about a sibling who makes occasional visits to their parent. Unintentional as they are, the problems this “swooping” can cause relationships to deteriorate. While families may  want to share their responsibilities and resources, doing so in ways that are perceived as fair to then all is critical.

As mediators trained in elder issues, we can facilitate family discussions about matters relating to safety, finances and capabilities while keeping in mind the elder family member’s needs.

The elder family member themselves may get in touch with us first. Their adult children or grandchildren may also be first in touch. Sometimes, it may be just one of the family members who we hear from.

Who first contacts us isn’t as important as who takes part in the mediation. All stakeholders should be invited to take part, but a majority of them are essential if any decision is going to be accepted. This may include the elder member, but the elder member may also choose to leave any decision-making to others.

Our solicitor-mediators have not only trained in the distinctly different family mediation and civil mediation models, but have also undertaken Elder Decisions’ unique elder mediation training in the USA.

Elder mediation deals with matters relating to eldercare, gerontology and estates. It can help facilitate family discussions about matters relating to a senior family member’s safety, finances and capabilities while keeping in mind their desire for independence, respect and control.

Through our in-depth training, we are able to tailor the mediation process to suit those family members who live either close to one another or many miles apart. We might also recommend the involvement of: a  solicitor specialising in elder law; a private social worker specialising in elder care; or a financial planner.