Confession #1

What do children really want for Christmas? It’s confession time – I have no idea what gadgets, toys or games kids are into at the moment. But I do know what children don’t want. They don’t want their mum and dad to argue, especially not about them. They want them to get on. This might be a big ask, but even it it’s just a ceasefire for Christmas, who knows, it could open a window to a longer-term truce.

Confession #2

I have a second confession. I’m a late starter when it comes to getting ready for Christmas. As much as I say that Christmas, and all that surrounds it, should be limited to December, I quietly envy those who start their Christmas planning and preparations early. They can sit back with a glass of mulled wine watching the rest of us run around at the last minute to get things done. In light of what I’ve just said, I can see the irony when I suggest that forward planning is the key to giving children what they want for Christmas.

Planning ahead

Allow enough time to make the necessary arrangement – don’t leave it until mid-December. Having more time is likely to make it less stressful. Don’t beat yourselves up if you and your ex can’t sort this out on your own. Ask a mutual friend or family member to help. If that’s not possible, consider contacting a mediator.

Support for you

Don’t forget about you. It can be hard to spend time over the festive season without your children, especially if it’s the first time. Make sure you have a good support network and that you have someone to talk to. Remember that children want their mum and dad to be happy too.

Contact us on 01473 487427.


Elisabet Anderson, FMC accredited family mediator

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